In Which I Decide to Make a Film

I've been thinking about the following a lot lately. For more than a year, in fact. Something which I'm hesitant to admit mainly because in the past year all I've done is think about something rather than do something. Trust me, however, that I have many excuses. That said, one of those was NOT writing on this blog.

I'd like to think I've been busy. So busy that I literally do not have time to focus on writing this blog. Like I said, I'd like to think this but in truth that just hasn't been the case. I have a day job. I spend nearly 11 hours a day working as the Director of Digital Media for Anthony E. Zuiker (creator of the CSI: franchise). I also really like to sleep. That only leaves me a few hours every night to work on my own projects OR spending time with my wife. Two things that demand equal attention. 

So, with so little time to really spend on my own career as a writer/director, I've been thinking a lot about how I no longer want to waste that time. And right now, for me, writing a spec script to sell to Hollywood is a waste of time. The spec market does not excite me. Yes, its rewards are great but the spec market is an eternally dangling carrot of which I have no interest in eating. I'd like to consider myself a filmmaker. Not a developer, not a writer of things that don't get made. I am and want to be a maker. 

For a long time, I thought this would be possible on a big-budget (say 5 million plus) level. Which, obviously, is not the case. And what the digital experience has opened my eyes to, is the ability to make things. Now just work on an idea to make things.

For a year prior to the last, I really thought that a $200,000 - $300,000 level was a chance to make something. And I've spent the better part of a year developing a script for that budget level. It's a thriller, it's complicated, and it's taken some time to develop it and figure it out. If I'm going to be spending that much of someone else's money, I want to be really sure of it's viability, which is why we've been taking so much time with it.

But in all that time I haven't made something. I have a short sci-fi web series called Restart I'm currently shopping with Zuiker attached as a producer, to various digital distribution companies. It's a twenty minute piece. A three day shoot. And it's taken months just to get to this point. So, even something as SIMPLE as that, it's taken a long time to get it even close to being produced. So...needless to say, I'm getting antsy. I'm a director. And I want to be directing. 

This is all to say that I want to direct something. And in order to give my career a boost forward I need to direct a feature. And for a long time I always believed that my first feature needed to be a thriller, whatever the budget size, and something that could also show off my skills, aesthetic and ability as a director. I never wanted to just dive in to horror film or a comedy -- something that doesn't speak to me or reveal what I can do as a director.

So, some of the time has been waiting for the right first feature film. And now, I've found it (I'll tell you more about it later). The flipside has also been finding a project I can do for literally $0. Money is always the reason why I can't do something. But recently I looked around and realized, I have EVERYTHING I need to make a film around me. I know actors, writers, producers, sound mixers, locations, composers, post sound mixers, editing systems -- all of whom will probably cut me a deal knowing that I'm working on my first no-budget feature. With all this around me, WHY am I not just MAKING movies? 

So, this is what it's come down to. I'm currently writing a script, some of which may be outline, improv, etc that I plan to shoot on weekends with no friends. I'm grounding it in the style and approach of French New Wave and making a small, personal drama. It's a project I'm very excited about and am hoping to lens within the next couple months. Once I have a script it's full steam ahead and my goal is to do it for $0. (Though I may have to spend a little money for food, etc.)

I'm gonna run around Los Angeles with a 5D in my hand, shooting guerrilla style and piecing together a feature. It's gonna be awesome. Know why? Cause I'm making a film.

My Podcast Interview with Hollywood 2.0

Last week I did an interview for the podcast Hollywood 2.0, run by Peter Katz and Rich Silverman. In the 50 minute interview, we discuss how I got my start, the work I'm doing at Dare to Pass, Level 26 and Cybergeddon. Enjoy!

Dig: Online Premiere

Dig from Joshua Caldwell on Vimeo.

Winner: Silver Screen Award (Short Film Competition) - Nevada Film Festival

Official Selection:
2011 LA Shorts Fest
2011 Carmel Art & Film Festival
2011 NewFilmmakersLA (Fall)
2012 Durango Independent Film Festival
2012 Beverly Hills Film Festival
2012 Los Angeles Jewish Film Festival
2012 Dances with Films
2012 HollyShorts Film Festival
2012 Action on Film International Film Festival

Beware! This post might wander into self-deprecating mode if I'm not careful (though it might have already).

Dig was and remains an incredibly important film for me on a number of fronts. It was the first film I directed that I didn't feel was shortchanged in any way, it was the first film where I wasn't continually bothered by something in it, and I feel was a real elevation of my work, essentially helping to kickstart me both in regards to my career and my aesthetic. 

You can follow the writing, pre-production and post-production phases of the film by starting at the bottom of this page with the post titled In Preparation for Writing Dig and scrolling upwards.

It's funny to look back on these posts from more than two years ago. Hard for me to believe that it's been that long and I'm only just now releasing the film online. As you can see from the list above, the film enjoyed a healthy festival run, though not as healthy as I would have liked (more on that later). Had I know the film would only play in a handful of festivals, mostly in the LA area, and won no awards save one, I would have probably just released it online and been done with it. But I honestly felt like it had a really good chance. It was, in many ways, designed for it. 

A tough subject matter. Recognizable actors. High production values. High level crew. But it was not meant to be. As rejection after rejection rolled through and award after award was handed off to other filmmakers, I was left wondering what happened. 

I had festivals tell me they rejected me due to my choice of actors. Another, because they had already programmed two features that were about the holocaust. Festivals in which I had other films, much lesser quality films, rejected me. I couldn't even get the film played in my home town of Seattle, WA. One festival offered to provide filmmakers with the judges written comments about the film:

1. I never thought that I would find a "holocaust" film interesting, ever again.  This is the one, the subject was treated in an original way, it was beautifully filmed and the production values in general were very high.  I appreciated how the desolate landscape reflected the desolation of the boy.  The actors were both good choices and had good direction.  The cinematography was innovative in it's use of shadows and sharpness/blurriness.  The music enhanced the drama and came to a crescendo at the perfect moment.

2. This short works mostly because of its incredible production values. The midsection is draggy, and the plot is a little weak, however the performances and the direction help make this work. Notably Mark Margolis, who it’s always a pleasure to see (and wonderfully in a leading role). The atmosphere and cinematography are top-rate, and the film has a beautifully crisp color palette.

3.  I loved blending the exploration of morality,Nietzsche's ideas along with the discussion of the students and the kidnapped Nazi in this thought stirring short.The actors did a great job of showing a range of emotions without overplaying them and engaging the viewer to feel those emotions.The struggles between ideology and the characters reality were apparent and left a lasting reflection for the viewer once the film was over. It presents some challenging thoughts on moral code.The lighting the cinematogtraphy and music were perfect in enhancing the story.

They rejected us as well.

Now, I'm not writing this post seeking sympathy. I'm not trying to make you feel sorry for me. The film has brought me a lot, including advancements in career and more directing opportunities. It's a film I'm incredibly proud of. I put everything I had into the making of this film. Nearly every screening has brought positive comments from Festival staff and the audience about the acting, cinematography and music. Mark Margolis who plays Heinrich in the film told me that he thought it was one of his best performances (this was after he had played Uncle Tio in Breaking Bad for which he received an Emmy nomination). 

In fact, I don't really know why I'm writing this post. I think that if this had played in 100 film festivals, won Sundance, and got me a three picture directing deal, this post would be easy. "Look at me, I'm amazing." But when I started this blog I told you that I would be honest about the process, about the ups and downs and my reaction to them.

I guess that, at the end of the day, I'm surprised. Unless everyone I know was bullshitting me, I got excellent feedback on the film. Travis thinks it was the length and at the end of the day, it might have been. 26 minutes is long for a short. We had endless debates about whether we should cut it down and resubmit but I knew that would take time and money and it wasn't guaranteed to make the film better.

To some degree, I had the luxury of not needing to cut it down. I could make the film that I wanted to make. And so I did. And Dig, all 26 minutes of it, is exactly the film I wanted to make.

Now, I know in this day and age, watching something that's 26 minutes long on the internet feels like an eternity. Stick with it. I think it's a really good film, that presents a really interesting moral dilemma, one that doesn't have easy answers. I'd be curious to see what you think of the film, so please leave a comment either here or on the Vimeo page.

I wouldn't recommend watching it in the tiny screen posted above. I'd click over to the Vimeo page or watch it in HD.

I look forward to seeing what you think of the film and if you like it, please pass it along to others.

AZP/BlackBoxTV - 'Execution Style'

Above, check out the latest Anthony E. Zuiker Presents short on BlackBoxTV. The film was directed by Lexi Alexander, written by Duane Swierczynski and stars Rene Auberjonois, Goran Visnjic, Bill Bellamy and Nicki Aycox. I served as a producer on the film, originally developing the story with Duane and then shepherded the project through post-production, including doing some editing work on the piece.

It's a fun little short and continues the tradition everyone at Dare to Pass and BlackBoxTV are attempting, which is to bring high quality content to the YouTube audience. Enjoy!

Dig: Official Selection - Action on Film International Film Festivals

I am pleased to announce that Dig is an Official Selection of the 2012 Action on Film International Film Festival. The festival runs August 17th - 25th in Monrovia, CA at the Krikorian Theater

Dig will be screening on August 21st, 2012 at 4:00 pm. 

Krikorian Theater

410 S. Myrtle Beach

Monrovia, CA 91016

Tickets are $10 and can be purchased here.

About the Action on Film International Film Festival:

The AOF festival is one of the fastest growing, high profile international affairs in the film and video industry today.With meager roots, it has grown to an epic size by the virtue of its loyal following of filmmakers and writers who understand the value of being associated with an event that appreciates and supports their work.

We have received tremendous celebrity and industry support and been to launch the AOF channel, a weekly television series which showcases the talents of our filmmakers and allows them to be introduced to the world via traditional broadcast models.

Dig: Official Selection - HollyShorts Film Festival

I am pleased to announce that Dig is an Official Selection of the 2012 HollyShorts Film Festival. The festival runs August 9th - 16th and all films will be screening at the Chinese 6 Theaters on Hollywood Blvd.

Dig will be screening on August 15th, 2012 at 6:30pm as part of the "Cinematography" category. This is most likely the last time Dig will be screening in the Los Angeles area so I invite you all to come if you haven't had a chance to see it.

Chinese 6

6801 Hollywood Blvd

Hollywood, CA 90028

You can purchase tickest here.

About HollyShorts Film Festival:

HollyShorts is an organization devoted to showcasing the best and brightest short films from around the globe, advancing the careers of filmmakers through screenings, networking events, and various panel and forums. The HollyShorts Film festival showcases the top short films produced 30- minutes or less. For more information, please visit www.hollyshorts.com. Filmmaker news available here.

The Dark Knight Rises: Once More With Feeling

WARNING: Spoiler ahead. Stop reading if you haven't seen the movie.

This isn't a review and it's not a blog post picking apart The Dark Knight Rises. I'll say from the beginning that I thought it was an epic and amazing film. I was drawn in from the first frame and left breathless until the last.

That said, a lot of people really didn't like it and multiple bloggers have laid down their case either for or against on various blogs and sites around the Internet. One of the reasons I've decided to write this is that despite the many flaws of the film, I still found it to be an enthralling and entertaining experience. And so have many others. Why?

I actually think there's a great lesson for filmmakers here, one that even the best directors and writers continually fail at. I believe it's what separates great films from good ones; memorable films from forgotten ones. 

Why did I like The Dark Knight Rises so much, despite it's logic flaws, despite those things that have already been pointed out by other writers/reviewers? Why can I forgive those things? Because unlike most movies these days, The Dark Knight Rises made me feel. I connected with it on emotional level. I was left reeling when Gotham was turned upside down. I felt a collective sense of hitting bottom, wondering "how can they come back from this?"

I felt loss when Alfred left. I wondered, how on earth, we could come back from this? And I was right there with Bruce Wayne, in that prison, as he pulled himself and said "nope." I wanted him to climb that wall, I wanted him to make that leap, I wanted him to return and save Gotham.

Now of course, you're probably saying, "Well, yeah, that's what everyone wants." But for me, it's less about what I "want" and more about what I "felt." I felt it. This movie about a man dressed as a bat connected with me on an emotional level. I don't fully know why and choose not to dissect it, but it represents and executes what, in my opinion, movies are all about: that feeling of being a little kid and looking up at a giant screen and seeing a hero right there before your eyes. 

I think that, generally speaking, movies these days have become less about making you feel something and more about being cool, or showing off cool shit -- in fact, I think superhero movies are collectively the guiltiest parties. I don't care about Thor, Iron Man, the Hulk. I don't feel anything when I see them. I saw Gladiator five times in the theater because having gone through what you do watching that movie and you hit that end scene, it's just: magic. I saw Traffic five times for the same reason. It's why I can be flipping the channel and see Forrest Gump on and start bawling, even though I've seen the movie a million times.

Knowing I would be seeing The Dark Knight Rises on Sunday, I spent Saturday re-watching Batman Begins and The Dark Knight. And you know what? As much as I love The Dark Knight, as much as Heath's performance as the Joker blew me away and will never be forgotten, I didn't feel anything watching it. I didn't feel loss when Rachel died, I didn't care about Gordon's kid, I didn't care about the people on the ferries. I thought it was a brilliant film, amazing on every technical level, and really cool. But I didn't feel anything watching it, nor did I watching Batman Begins (though I did find it to be a much better movie than I remembered, still a touch too fantastical, but whatever). 

And at the end, when I thought Batman had died, I not only felt loss, but I felt...okay with it. I'd like to pretend that Alfred's sighting of Bruce is really nothing more than a vision, than an idea that, while dead, perhaps Bruce has now gone to a better place, free of his demons, free of the weight he carried with him. I'd like to think that part wasn't real, that it wasn't part of some trick to make you go "Whup, look!" I'd like to think that Nolan is smarter than that. He has too much power. He could have done whatever he wanted. I very much doubt he would have tacked on a happy ending because the studio made him. (Funny enough, I was just discussing with my wife and we both thought that Alfred was going to look up, smile, but that we wouldn't cut to what he was seeing, that we would have been left wondering...in many ways, that would have been better.) I think Batman died saving the citizens of Gotham from one of the worst things imaginable -- that he gave them "everything."

I felt the same way I did when watching Gladiator for the first time. "What?! He died? How is that an ending? He came all this way and now he's just gonna -- oh! Right, the afterlife with his family, is where he wanted to be all along. I'm okay with that." I think it's the same. Think back to The Dark Knight, Harvey's quote and one of the last lines by Batman in the film: "You either die a hero or you live long enough to become the villain." Batman died a hero.

I'm sure many people will speak to the moment of realization that the auto-pilot was always working as a clue to saying "Oh, he must have jumped out (or something)." I'd take the opposite look at it: that, in fact, the auto-pilot did work, but that Batman knew he couldn't leave something like that to chance. That the only way to ensure that Gotham was safe was to do it himself, as he always had before. And that having done that, having returned and become the hero, Bruce Wayne is now in a better place. Alfred's "sighting" was just a vision, a hope, a belief that, perhaps Bruce has finally found peace.

What do you think?